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Preparing
for and Mourning the Loss of Your Pet
Euthanasia
Preparing for and
Mourning the Loss of Your Pet
by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, CT, and Katherine Heuerman.
The relationship you have with your pet is
special. For most of us, relationships with pets are among the strongest and
most significant we have known. Animals play a very unique and important role in
our lives, loving us unconditionally and offering us continuous companionship,
acceptance and devotion. It's understandable that the emotional bonds we develop
with them are very deep and strong, and when those bonds are broken, the pain we
feel is real and worthy of our grief. The more significant the bond we have with
our pets, the greater the loss we feel when they're gone.
Much as you may not like to think about it,
death and loss are natural parts of living. Because the life spans of most
domestic animals are naturally shorter than our own, it is quite likely that at
some point each of us will experience the death of a pet. Sooner or later your
cherished pet will grow old, become seriously ill or sustain an injury that
can't be fixed. Accepting that reality gives you a great deal of control over
how you'll handle the situation when it arises, because you can choose to plan
ahead for it.
You don't have to wait until you're
overwhelmed with grief to think about the practical aspects of euthanasia and
after-death care for your pet. A distraught person struggling to cope with the
trauma of loss is not in the best position to ask intelligent questions and make
informed, well-thought out choices. It is far better to investigate ahead of
time, learn about your options in advance, and think these matters through while
your pet is still young and healthy, before illness, injury or old age strikes.
When faced with losing your pet, you may be
shocked and overwhelmed at the intensity of your grief. The grief you feel at
such times can be far more intense than you ever expected, no different from
that of losing another special family member or cherished friend.
You may fear that your reactions are abnormal,
or even that you may be losing your mind. Yet grief is a natural, spontaneous
response to the loss of a significant relationship. It can affect you
physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually, in every aspect of your life.
Its course is unpredictable and uneven, with no specific time frame. How we
express our grief will vary among individuals, but we all get through it in
personally meaningful ways.
Your grief may not be recognized by others as
significant and legitimate. Since grieving over animals isn't generally accepted
in our society, you may feel uneasy or embarrassed, as if you have no right to
express or feel your grief because your loss is somehow not significant enough.
But you're not grieving "just an animal." Since you are the only one who knows
how much your animal meant to you, when your animal is gone you are the only one
who can measure how very much you've lost.
There isn't much support offered to grieving
animal lovers in our culture. When our companion animals die, there are no
formal, public rituals where we can express and share our sorrow, talk about our
loss and obtain the sympathy and support of others. At the very time when you
need to be with others who understand, you may feel very isolated and alone. You
need to find someone with whom you can openly acknowledge your feelings, express
and work through your pain, and come to terms with your loss.
It is healthy and appropriate to honor the
memory of your pet in whatever way you see fit. To memorialize our beloved
companion animals is to honor and acknowledge the important role they played in
our lives, to bring comfort to ourselves and to help us keep their love and
presence in our hearts. Among other things, you can memorialize your pets by
writing about them, making an album or a scrapbook, planting a living memorial
in your garden or yard, having a meaningful memorial service, funeral or ritual,
or making a donation to a charitable animal organization in your pet's name.
Based on The Final Farewell: Preparing for
and Mourning the Loss of Your Pet, by Marty Tousley and Katherine Heuerman.
Used with permission
Marty Tousley is a hospice bereavement counselor who specializes in pet loss and
writes about various aspects of grief.
Copyright (c) 2003 by Martha M. Tousley
Reprinted with permission of the author
Web site: http://www.griefhealing.com
E-mail: tousleym@aol.com
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Euthanasia
by Kathy Howell DVM (A Visiting Veterinarian and Home Care
Veterinarian)
Euthanasia is an extremely difficult decision to make Once
the decision is made, we do everything possible to provide a peaceful and loving
end to the patient's life. This often involves giving he patient a tranquilizer
to ease any pain or anxiety he may have. When the patient is tranquilized the
final injection may be given intravenously without any discomfort. The
tranquilizer takes approximately 10 minutes to produce a sleep-like state. The
euthanasia injection acts within minutes to produce unconsciousness and then the
cessation or stoppage of body functions. Very ill, painful or difficult patients
may require more extensive sedation.
We recommend having a towel or blanket with a water barrier
underneath in which the patient can be held and then carried out to the vehicle.
The towel or blanket is not usually returned. The water barrier offers a
protection against the release of body fluids and or waste.
A Visiting Veterinarian provides two services to take care of
the patient's remains:
1. A mass cremation in which the patient's remains are
cremated with other pets and ashes are spread on farmland.
2. A private cremation in which the patients remains are
cremated individually and the ashes are returned to the owners.
How do I know when it's time to euthanize my pet? This
decision can be very difficult to make. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
1. Is there a reasonable chance for a cure or comfort?
2. Is my pet suffering even though physical pain is NOT
evident?
3. What is my pet's quality of life? Is he able to do the
things he enjoys? Are there more bad days than good?
4. If I were in my pets place, what would I want?
5. How do I want to remember my pet's last days? (with some
happiness or struggling for comfort)
When your pet is suffering or has a severely diminished
quality of life and you decide the time has come to let your pet go, please
remember that you are doing what is best for your beloved friend.
How do I cope with the loss of a pet? Profound sadness and
grief resulting from the death of your pet are normal feelings. The loss of your
beloved companion animal can be as emotional as the loss of any family member.
The grieving process includes accepting the reality of your loss: Acknowledging
that the loss and accompanying feelings are painful, and then adjusting to your
new life that no longer includes your pet.
Grief is often met with denial. This anger can be directed
towards people you normally love and respect including your family and
veterinarian. Without meaning to hurt anyone, you may start blaming yourself and
others for not recognizing the illness earlier or for being careless and
allowing the pet to be injured.
Guilt and depression can also be states of grief. This is
when you feel the greatest sense of loss. Tears, knots in your stomach and lack
of energy are normal. Day-to-day tasks may seem impossible. Your psychologist,
physician, veterinarian, or clergy may be able to help you overcome your grief.
Once you and your family understand your sad feelings and
accept your pet's death, these feelings can be replaced with fond memories.
Grieving is a personal process and may take longer for some people than others.
After a beloved pet has died, some people may feel they would
never want another pet. A new pet may help others get over the loss more
quickly. Just as grief is a personal experience, the decision of when, if ever,
to get a new pet is a personal one. It is a decision the entire family must
share. Although you can never replace the pet you lost, you can get another one
to share your life.
We understand that you are going through a difficult time
Please use support groups if needed. Numbers can be provided by the
veterinarian.
